Positively Deviant
Why we all need positive deviance right now
#BlackLivesMatter, COVID, Climate Change
“If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun”
My current coachee is a bit of a handful. And I love it. He’s one of the top staff in a major international organisation and he’s just become a key decision-maker and is ruffling feathers. He’s unafraid to point out what is and isn’t working AND be solutions-focused about changing things. Yes he could do this in a better way – couldn’t we all, and that’s why we’re working together – but his intent is positive, and channelled well there are exciting times ahead. And it captures a mood. Positive change is coming. I realise more and more we need people like him in the world. We need to collectively and positively channel energy so that it can light the litmus paper to positive affect.
I’m a positive psychologist so you might think there’s a lot of pressure to be positive, and only point out the silver linings and what is working well. But really holding a positive psychology ethos is rather about taking an appreciative stance on things; it’s about being optimistic and being hopeful, it’s about pointing out the possibilities about what could be – and that’s often highlighting the gaps in what we say we want (vision, values and purpose) and what’s actually going on (lack of clarity, misaligned values, disengagement). I do this with individuals, teams and organisations so we can all move more towards what we do want. If there’s one thing I’ve been learning lately is that we have got buckets of reasons to be optimistic and hopeful about the future – as long as we deviate from the way things have always been, and deviate NOW.
I’m proud of those protesting for black lives matter – yes keep a social distance, wash your hands, limit public transport – but keep doing it.
I’m proud of those protesting for climate change – our world is literally burning alive and we all need to act on this.
I’m proud of those who have been deviant in their response to COVID – the doctors and nurses who have spoken out about the real spread of the virus, poor PPE and the inevitable ongoing virus peaks we need to get used to expecting; if they didn’t speak up what would change?
We need to be deviant to make progress. We need to be brave and break “the rules”, particularly when the rules are vague and misleading and we know better.
And what’s more if you’re a manager, leader, parent reading this let me tell you, there’s BUCKETS of evidence showing us that Positive Deviance is a good thing.
As Kim Cameron has highlighted over the last decade - and more are building on his shoulders - Positive Deviance aims to lead to extraordinarily positive outcomes – outcomes that cannot be achieved unless we deliberately deviate from the normal ways of doing things.
And it’s just as well Positive Deviance is a good thing. At my wedding last year, my husband informed our guests that he was marrying a rule breaker. He kindly likened my behaviour to the great Katharine Hepburn, using the quote: “If you obey all the rules you miss all the fun”. And he was right. If I didn’t break the rules, I’d probably still be in my first job – probably feeling incredibly comfortable and still getting front pages or my second job still getting outstanding ratings for my teaching and learning – but not quite feeling stretched and fulfilled right now. And I probably never would have met him or learned the truth about what it takes to optimally function as a human being.
So how can you be more positively deviant and bring more positive deviance into your life in some simple ways:
Practice noticing when you’re ‘already-always-listening’. This is a concept a wonderful mentor of mine, Bridget Farrands, recently introduced to me. In essence remembering that you are always going into conversations, reading or listening with your own context – your own genetics, upbringing, education, politics, etc – so notice that and how it effects your interpretation of what you are hearing. And notice it in others too.
Practice Curiosity – let go of your pre-existing ideas to be curious about what everybody else can bring to the table, and empower others to share by encouraging them to speak and listen when they do. This looks like less talking for the sake of talking, and talking with positive intent through curious questions for the sake of curiosity.
Practice non judgement – be mindful of the moment you are in. This looks like being fully focused and engaged on the here and now, and letting go of the automatic judgements that naturally and reactively make our minds up quickly for us – even when that doesn’t need to happen. Stop grasping, striving, resisting and ignoring – set judgement aside and see where the conversation goes.